Blue Meanie
by Catelyn Tsukino
Summary: Tony didn’t adopt Nebula while on Benatar. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t welcome her to his family, though. OR the story of Tony and Nebula’s unexpected friendship through the years. (Major spoilers for Avengers: Endgame)


"Stark?", she tries at first. When he doesn't answer, she goes for the other name she heard. "Tony?"

_That_ calls his attention. His head rises from the ashes and he looks at her questioningly. "We have to go", she says. "There is nothing for us here anymore." When he doesn't answer, she adds, "We'll go back to your planet. Give your companions a proper funeral."

It takes a while, but he speaks up. "What about _your_ companions?"

She looks away for a moment. "None of us had a planet to call home anymore."

He seems to understand, because he stands up and walks up to her—though not without difficulty. "Earth. My home planet is Earth. And theirs too."

She nods and offers her shoulders as support. It takes more time than usual, but they eventually get in Quill's ship—she can't remember its name at all.

Tony rests on a chair. "Do you have any first-aid kit, or something?"

She doesn't know, so she looks for it. Moments later, she comes back with a box full of medical equipment, including a scan. He seems to be in awe of that particular machine when she uses it on him.

"Wish I'd had this idea", he mumbles when the scan points out a broken rib and advises that no treatment is needed aside from pain relief. "Would've been useful many times."

She looks up at him, but doesn't reply. Maybe things on Terra—or Earth, as he called it—were not as simple as tales made it out to be.

"It seems that you need mostly rest", she says in the end. "Maybe painkillers, but I don't know if you can take any of what's here."

"It's okay", he replies, "I've been through worse."

If she still had eyebrows, she'd certainly raise them at him. Worse than being thrown a moon at? Then again, his suit seemed to have protected him almost entirely. Maybe he's talking about a time he wasn't wearing it.

She doesn't ask.

"There are bedrooms", she says instead. "You rest, I'll check if it's safe to take flight."

"Shouldn't you rest too?", he asks immediately. "You don't seem to be a robot. Not 100% at least."

She blinks. When was the last time someone told her to rest? "I… I guess you're right. A little sleep would help."

* * *

As it turns out, Tony is a fast learner, and soon he's helping her fixing the ship.

There isn't much to fix, and it's not good news. Most of the ship's problems are too big or too complex for them to fix them alone, without stopping by a planet that sells pieces. According to Quill's map, there is no such planet on their way to Terra.

In fact, Terra is closer to them than most inhabited planets. A terrible fact, if you ask her.

"Guess that's all", he says eventually, when both are sat on the floor. She nods. "What next? We wait or…?"

She raises her eyes to him. Is he hoping that she knows a way out of this? "We wait."

Something flashes through his face; she can't quite recognize it, but it seems negative. It is gone as fast as it came, though. "Wanna play a game?"

She's startled at first. She hasn't heard that word ever since Thanos took her from her parents. Barely remembers its meaning. "What game?"

"Paper football", he replies. She frowns deeply. "I can teach you." She shrugs, and he stands up. "C'mon. Let's go to that table."

With nothing else to do, she follows him.

* * *

The game is easy, but she's struggling anyway. According to Tony, she's being too… aggressive.

He's not wrong.

"Oh, hey. You win. Congratulations."

She does her best to keep a straight face. It's the first time she hears those words directed at her, not at her sister. She nearly misses his question. "Did you have fun?"

She's not sure if she was fully able to stop her mouth for lifting up, even a little bit. "It was fun."

"We can do it again tomorrow."

"Sounds good."

"Or I can think of another game. There are many pieces of junk here that we can play with."

"Sounds good too."

He doesn't seem to bother hiding his pleased expression. She supposes she shouldn't either.

But not today.

* * *

"Fuck Drax, marry Mantis, kill Quill. It's not a tough decision."

He had just taught her about a game called 'Fuck, Marry, Kill'. They ran out of options too soon, though; it's not like they have many acquaintances in common. In fact, she had to teach him the names of all the Guardians—except for Rocket and Groot, because he didn't meet them—and he had to tell her the names of the two men that followed him to Titan.

His voice cracked a bit when he said 'Peter Parker'—the boy who died in his arms. She didn't bother him about it; her voice would have cracked on Gamora's name too, if it wasn't so robotic.

Drax, Quill and Mantis were the names of their last round. Afterwards, Tony adjusted his position on his seat—they decided to sit on chairs this time.

"Why did you save me?", he suddenly asks after some time of silence. "I mean, I'm one more mouth to eat and drink, and one more pair of lungs to use oxygen. So… why?"

She understand where he's coming from. On another time, she'd have left him in his catatonic state on Titan.

But she remembers Gamora, who stubbornly refused to fight her one last time. Mantis, who gave her water and food even before she thought of asking for it. Quill, who, for all of his stupidity, offered his bed whenever she'd show up by their ship. Drax, who always tried to make her laugh—with no success, but she appreciated his effort. Groot, who just sat there by her side playing games. Rocket, who made small talk—but nothing more—when they were left alone by the ship controls.

She remembers Quill's rage at hearing of Gamora's death. The way Tony looked at Peter Parker whenever the other boy wasn't paying attention. The way Stephen Strange behaved after glancing at the future—however he did that.

She can't find a way to explain all of this to Tony, though, so she settles on, "It was the right thing to do."

And it was. Still is.

He doesn't look satisfied—she doesn't blame him—but stays silent. It's something to be thankful for, she guesses.

* * *

"Who is waiting for you on Earth?", she asks, and she can't tell whether it's because she's bored or because she genuinely wants to know.

Maybe a bit of both.

"I don't really know", he answers. "Thanos might have killed them all." A short silence. "I hope Pepper is alive."

"Who is… Pepper?" His tone upon saying their name implies a close relationship, like Quill and Gamora's.

"We were about to get married." He turns to look at her. "Is marriage a thing outside Earth?"

She nods. "Not everywhere, though."

He glances away for a moment, and turns back to her. "There is Rhodey. He's got a suit like mine, but all grey. Stole it from me, but I let him keep it. There is Happy—his name's Harold, but I call him Happy to mess with him. Nick Fury, he lost an eye somewhere, somehow. Bruce, he can turn into a green monster, but he's a sweetheart—don't ever tell him I said that. And…" he trails off, seemingly not knowing what to say.

She doesn't budge him, even when he changes the subject to ask her about the Guardians.

"Quill was a pain in the ass", she starts, and he nods. "But my sister was dating him, so there might have been something… not annoying about him. Drax liked to make bad jokes and play bad pranks. Mantis was… like you said, a sweetheart. There are other two you didn't meet. I don't know where they are."

"Who?"

"Groot. He's a talking tree. And Rocket, a… fox? No, he's not a fox. A rabbit? I don't know what he is, actually. They are like father and son, or something like that."

She stops talking, and he hums. "What about your sister?"

She looks down. "Oh, I get it", she hears him say. "You don't have to tell me."

Another thing to be grateful for. She realizes there is quite a lot to thank Tony Stark for.

And so she tries to keep him alive.

* * *

They have no food, no water, and nearly no oxygen. The ship stopped functioning days before, and so far nobody has passed by.

Maybe she should be relieved. It's not like anyone would willingly help Thanos' daughter, even if said daughter has turned on him long ago.

But anything was better than their slow but certain death.

Tony is dying faster than her, which is understandable; he's got more organs to sustain. They no longer play, not since they ate their last bite of food. They stopped their small talks when their water supply ended, throats too dry to speak comfortably.

If her calculations are correct, she'll last sixty hours more than him. Sixty hours staring at a corpse until she too fades away.

She once dreamed of killing her father. Tear him apart like he did to her, but not pulling him back together afterwards. It was the only thing that kept her going, her only purpose.

Those last days gave her hope. Tony offered his home to her—and to Rocket and Groot in case they were found alive—and described many places on Terra. She found herself wanting to settle down and move on. It seemed to be a nice way to avenge her father; move on when he would have wanted her to drown in rage.

Now none of her dreams are within reach anymore. They are just going to die on that ship. At least Tony will have someone by his side; she'll die alone—just like she lived.

She hears him recording a message. It's not the first time he does so; he seems hopeful that at least his last words will be found. He asked once if she wanted to record something as well, but she declined. Who is she going to speak to? Thanos?

It sounds almost funny.

It's getting harder for him to speak, she can tell. He's tired and breathing irregularly. She stands up from her corner on the floor and approaches him as he finishes recording. He's nearly asleep. She carries him and places him on his usual seat by the ship monitors.

A part of her wishes he'd think of her as he dies instead of Pepper. Not in a romantic way; just out of consideration that he's leaving her alone. An apology, perhaps.

That's not going to happen, of course. And she can't blame him. Her last thoughts will likely be of her sister, the only person she has ever loved. It's only fair that he thinks of the person he loves too.

As she turns back, the control room is suddenly brightened. She turns again to see a human-like woman staring at them. She nods at Nebula.

She nods back.

* * *

She meets Pepper while Tony is unconscious.

"So, you're the one he was with all these days", she says with a small smile on her face. The sight isn't as foreign as she expects. Maybe all this time with the Guardians and the last days with Tony made her slightly used to see people smile.

"Yes. You must be Pepper", she replies, offering her hand. Pepper nods and shakes it. "I'm Nebula."

"Thank you for keeping him alive", she replies. "If it wasn't for you, Miss Danvers would have found a corpse."

Nebula spares a glance at the man lying on his bed. "He doesn't seem as grateful", she mutters.

Pepper lets out a chuckle. "Oh, Tony just loves to try to get himself killed. You should have seen him a few years ago. Don't worry, he'll be fine and thanking you soon enough."

Her determined tone makes her wonder whether Tony will thank her out of his own will or because his… 'fianceé' says so. She supposes it doesn't matter.

Silence falls between the two and they sit down. There isn't much to do but wait for the man before them to wake up.

There is a moment in which Pepper excuses herself to the bathroom. In the distance, she hears someone talking to her in hushed whispers, but can't make out what it is. When the woman returns, her face is pale. She stares at her, waiting for her to say something. It eventually works.

"I'm pregnant", she blurts out. "Do you know what it is?"

She nods. "My species reproduce the same way yours do. Or used to, before Thanos wiped them."

Pepper frowns. "Are you the last of your kind?"

She shrugs. "Probably. I know some survived, but not if they are still alive. Especially now."

"Do you miss them?"

It takes her a while to answer, but not for the same reason she dodges Tony's questions on Gamora. "I barely remember them", she says truthfully. "I remember a mother, and I think I had siblings. But these memories are not enough to make me miss them." Not like she misses Gamora.

Pepper gives her a kind smile, but doesn't say anything. It's better this way, she supposes.

Tony wakes up hours later, only to hear Pepper's lecture. Nebula waits for her to leave to speak. "She's expecting a child. Yours, I assume."

His eyes widen, and he sits down on the bed, even though he shouldn't. "_What_? And _that's_ how you tell me?"

He makes a move to stand up, but she stops him and pushes him back to the bed. "You can't leave yet. It's bad for the baby."

He grimaces. "Bad for the baby? But they're inside _Pepper's_ belly, not m—oh." He smirks. "You little shit."

It's something she heard Groot being called sometimes. Coming from Tony, she guesses it's a term of endearment. "You're not wrong."

Maybe that's what having a friend is like.

* * *

She helps Tony and Pepper move out of the Tower.

There is nothing for him anymore, he claims. Pepper knows better and tells her: Captain Rogers and Agent Romanov live there, and it hurts for him to see them every day, especially the former—but Tony can't bring himself to kick them out.

Nebula knows him for only thirty days, but it's easy to notice the man's got a big heart. Bigger than even Gamora's. So far, keeping him alive has proven to have been a good decision.

Rocket headed to wherever Thor went to help the remaining Asgardians settle down. The god was numb when they left; apparently, killing Thanos did nothing to bring him peace. To be fair, it didn't bring peace to her either.

It's okay, she muses, she wasn't looking for peace or satisfaction when she thought of killing her father. She just wanted him dead.

It's selfish and bittersweet, but she does feel free. No more worrying about being captured and tortured all over again; that's one good thing out of all this tragedy.

That, and the fact that Tony asked her to be witness on his wedding after explaining how it works.

Pepper insists to call the remaining Avengers, even the ones he's not on speaking terms with. She assumes he doesn't want them around because he's mad at them, but that's not it. Nebula knows it even before he says it.

"It's not about the ones who are left", he explains. "I just… most are gone, Pepper. Peter is gone. Happy is gone, Fury is gone. It's doesn't feel right to celebrate."

That seems to convince Pepper, because, a few days later, only she and Rhodes are present when they sign the marriage papers.

She knows Rhodes is a long-time friend of both Tony and Pepper. The fact that she was placed on the same role as him feels as a high honor.

Rocket picks her up not long after they finish organizing Tony's new home. He makes her promise to contact him and visit them regularly. "I want you here when Morgan is born" he insists, and Pepper reinforces.

"We can do this", Rocket says as they leave Terra's orbit. "You know, dropping by to visit. Do you know when the baby is due?"

"By their calculations, thirty-five weeks."

"Then we come back in thirty."

She merely nods.

* * *

She had never seen someone giving birth before.

She had heard about it from other people whose species were similar to hers; how messy and painful it was.

Nobody ever told her that the suffering was all worth it when they held a newborn in their arms, but that's how Pepper is feeling, no doubt—and so is Tony.

Once again, she and Rhodes are the ones present. Rocket had come to Terra as well, but he decided to visit the others.

She barely knows the others. Even Agent Romanov, whom she speaks to weekly; however, their talks are completely professional. They never bonded over anything, though she'd say the other woman desperately needs some friends.

(She is looking for a friend, from what she can tell. But her search has been fruitless so far, so it doesn't really count, does it?)

So she visits the friends she does have. Tony calls her almost every day, and Pepper usually joins in. Rhodes shows up sometimes, but they don't talk much.

Rocket jokes that she's getting soft. She can't disagree with him.

Eventually Tony hands her his baby. "Her name is Morgan", he says as she carefully grabs the tiny human in her arms.

She expects the baby to cry at her touch. After all, human hands are warm, and hers have always been cold in comparison, even before they were (mostly) replaced by metal. Instead, Morgan simply rests her head in Nebula's chest, as if it's a comfortable pillow.

Maybe it is. Thanos left her breasts intact, despite having taken most of her reproductive organs off. She supposes cutting them off would alter her figure more than he deemed necessary. Regardless of the reason, it means her chest is similar to a human one, enough that Morgan can't tell the difference.

"Say hello to her, Nebula", Tony suggests, beaming. She frowns at him—Morgan is a newborn, she won't understand what a 'hello' means—but leans closer to the baby's ear anyway.

"Hey Morgan", she whispers, because nobody else needs to hear her using Tony's new nickname for her, "I'm Auntie Nebula."

* * *

They are nothing alike, but Nebula can't help but remember Gamora when she watches Morgan growing up.

Maybe it's because she can see Morgan is a strong-willed child, with a kind soul and a creative mind. It's exactly what she used to see in Gamora when they were younger, before Thanos made them fight each other.

She believes—likes to believe—Morgan is what Gamora could have been.

Nebula had never really wished for good parents. She didn't know what made a parent good, only that Thanos didn't fit that picture. Seeing Tony and Pepper raising Morgan, however, made her wonder how her life would have turned out if she had people like them when she was a child made purely of flesh and blood.

She doesn't dwell much on it, though. It's useless, anyway. The best she can do is to enjoy her time with the kid, whose first word was 'papa' and second was 'Nebula', both at the age of seven months old.

Tony keeps building his Iron Suits at his backyard, something Pepper does not seem to enjoy much, but silently lets it happen because he entertains their daughter with it. By the time she turns three years old, Morgan already knows a few mechanic tricks. Not all of them were taught by Tony.

'Auntie Nebula' also tells her a number of stories about her 'adventures in space'—always toned down to make them more pleasant than terrifying. This is only half for Morgan's sake; part of her does want to turn her traumatic memories into… less scary ones.

When Morgan asks why she's part robot, part flesh, she somehow manages to tell her how she honorably fell in combat and had to replace some body parts to survive. The kid's excited squeals make her feel less of a failure for her losses.

Nebula is regarded by Morgan as a formidable warrior and a 'super nice' person. The fact that she's an alien makes everything better in her childlike conception. Nebula finds she smiles a lot more when around the small human.

* * *

Of course, not everything is happy news.

From the screens, she sees Agent Romanov grow more and more tired as the years go by. She learns the friend she's looking for is called Clint Barton, and he's gone rogue. Romanov's expression reminds her of Gamora's, a little before Nebula escaped Thanos' watchful eyes.

According to Rocket, Thor is not faring well either. He won't divulge details, but she knows he is supposed to be king of New Asgard, but seems to be unable to do his job.

She sees Rhodes, Okoye and Danvers mostly through the screens as well, though she does encounter the former at Tony's every now and then. Everyone is just… coping. Trying to move one, with varied degrees of success.

Speaking of Tony, she's seen him on cardiac arrest twice in four years. She's able to quickly restore the organ's function—his arc reactor is something she can easily understand, despite its apparent complexity—but it leaves everyone worried all the same. When Pepper wonders aloud what is stressing him, she stays silent, but guesses why in her mind.

Her theory lies in a framed photo in their kitchen. Though she doesn't quite understand what is going on, she recognizes who is featured in that picture. The boy Tony mourned when they were stuck on space. Parker.

There are others, and she's sure their deaths are felt as well. But not like Parker's.

There are days when she thinks Morgan is an attempt at filling the hole Parker left in Tony's heart. If that's case, it didn't work as well as he hoped.

* * *

According to Rhodes, there are five stages of grief. By the fifth year after the so-called Decimation, she thinks she's entered the last one—acceptance.

She shouldn't be surprised it wouldn't last long. However, in her defense, hope isn't a grief state.

But that's exactly what Scott Lang, also known as Ant-Man (why?), brings to them all.

Tony doesn't want to rise to the bait, as well-intentioned as it is. He claims that he doesn't want to risk losing all he got just for a tiny chance of getting back what he lost, but she doesn't believe in him. Neither does Pepper.

"For years, I tried to stop him from being Iron Man", she said after Nebula voice her opinion. Both were in the backyard, hiding from the visitors but hearing the entire conversation. "There was a time I thought I had succeeded. But I've accepted long ago that Iron Man is part of who he is. And he won't be able to stay still while there is a chance to bring everyone back."

"But he might spend a long time in denial", she replies, to which Pepper nods.

"I'll see what I can do", she says finally.

Whatever Pepper does, it works, because it's not long before they are all called to form a plan of action to go back in time and retrieve the Infinity Stones to revert Thanos' snap.

(She also finally meets the infamous Clint Barton. He looks like hell—but who doesn't?)

* * *

She knows, deep down, that she should hope that her time watch is broken beyond repair, and that she'll stay stuck in 2014 with Thanos and her old self. It's the best outcome; people will be brought back in 2023 and nobody will have to worry anymore.

Despite knowing all of this, she can't help but long for her own time.

There isn't much chance for an internal debate over what she wants versus what is right, though, because her old self manages to go to 2023 anyway. It's only a matter of time before she too goes back, along with Thanos' army—and old Gamora.

Bringing her sister to her side is easier than she anticipated. As they wait to be taken to 2023, she tells Gamora everything. From her sister's own story to hers, how they meet again and how it all turned—rather literally—to ashes.

Naturally, she can't tell the stories with the emotion they demanded, but it is enough for her sister to somewhat long for that future.

(She's not pleased with her stories about Peter Quill, but that's a small detail.)

When the time comes, killing her old self is more painful than she expected. She knows 2014 Nebula was redeemable, but it required a time they did not have.

She focuses on protecting the Gauntlet from Thanos. To her amusement, at one moment it includes protecting Peter Parker.

It's not, however, amusing watching, from a too big of a distance, Tony snapping to death.

It should have been her, she thinks as Parker kneels before him. Not only she stood a better chance of survival, her death would cause less grief. Morgan would mourn an aunt instead of a father, and she didn't have to be taught how different those kinds of grief are.

She doesn't say goodbye to him, not with words at least. He just glances at her for a couple seconds before turning to Pepper. They had said their goodbyes a long time ago, back when they were certain that they'd die in that spaceship. Back when she thought she'd watch him die of lack of oxygen and stare at his corpse as she too faded away.

As it turns out, they were right all along. It just took a little more time than they'd thought.

* * *

After watching Tony's hologram video, they find that he recorded a few private messages: for Pepper, Morgan (but she'd only watch a few years later, as per his own request), Rhodes, Happy, Parker, Romanov (which was given to Barton), Rogers… and Nebula.

She shouldn't be surprised, but emotions don't always follow logic. She saves the recording for when she flies away with the renewed Guardians—not after bidding her goodbye to Morgan.

"You'll come to visit, right, Auntie Nebula?", she asks, eyes red and face puffy.

In a rare gesture of affection, Nebula caresses the little girl's arm. "Of course, Morgan. I'll be here as often as I can."

Morgan's smile is weak, but it's there, and it's all she can ask for. She realizes, not for the first time, that she loves that child.

For all her life, Gamora had been the only living being Nebula has ever loved. Those five years taught her to open her heart for more people—mainly Morgan, but Tony, Pepper and Rocket as well.

Maybe she'll grow to love the rest of the Guardians as well, as her sister once did.

Her sister whose 2014 version is on the run somewhere in the galaxy, likely trying to figure out who she is without Thanos' influence. Despite their many differences, one thing she and Quill share is a certainty that they can show her what it is to be a true family.

She surely knows now. The awkward picture of her and the Starks—taken by Rhodes a year ago by Morgan's insistent request—is proof of that, and the phrase carved below it is merely for emphasis:

_Proof that Nebula has a heart!_

* * *

**[Transmission begins]**

_Hey, Blue Meanie. If you're watching this, either I'm dead or someone broke into my room and robbed the box containing this recording. Nah, it's probably the first option. Of course, I can't predict how I'll die, but I suppose now it doesn't matter._

_We're about to travel back in time… wow, it feels surreal just to say it. I don't know what to expect, or even if any of us will make it back. Actually, now that I think about it, you might never even get this. But I'm getting off topic now._

_I wanted to thank you for not leaving me on Titan. I know many people would say this was the least you could do, or some other bullshit, but I know what the easy choice was for you. I know you had to learn basic compassion all by yourself. And either way, I taught Morgan to thank others for everything, might as well set an example. Not that she'll see this… you're watching it alone, right? If anyone's with her, get out, get out. Give us some privacy one last time, okay? Even you, Pepper. You should know by now there's no need to be jealous—not that it would matter now, anyway._

_Back to the point… thanks for taking me to that spaceship—Benatar, right?—and making sure I stayed alive. Also, for keeping me company when we were absolutely certain we were going to die. By the way, tell Danvers I'm grateful for finding us. None of this would have been possible if not for her, huh? And Rogers, but I'm telling him that already._

_Oh, I'm getting off topic again, aren't I? Anyway, those days were fun, despite everything. Also, I'm glad you stayed around after we settled back. I mean, you didn't really settle, you and Rabbit kept traveling across galaxies… but you get what I mean. I know coming to Earth—or Terra, or Midgard, whatever—is expensive as hell, and you still did it. I know it wasn't really for me, but actually I like it better that you come for Morgan. It's good to know my baby girl is loved and will be left in good hands. You, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy… hopefully Peter too. And the others. If Potts allows it, you should take her to space one day. With all safety precautions, of course._

_So, that was the point of all of this. Take care of Morgan, will ya? And the others too, if possible. They might be better at handling themselves than me, but we all need help in one way or another._

_Take care of yourself too. Hopefully you got your Guardians back, even if without your sister—though I don't know, with this time travel thing we might even be able to bring her back. Who knows? Well, by now you will, so… congrats if it worked, sorry if it didn't._

_I hope I left the world—the universe—a little better place than I've found. Or at least not worse. Also? I love you, Blue Meanie. You were the sister I've never had. Be a good auntie._

**[End of transmission]**


End file.
